My 10 week challenge

I've decided enough is enough, andrea. I'm tired of listening to myself talk and complain about how I look knowing that if I made a few changes here or there, I could probably be where I want to be.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't want to lose 40 pounds, nor do I need to. Most would argue I don't need to lose any weight, but it's not about the "you" out there, it's about me. I'm not happy with how I look, but I'm also no hating how I look. I know that I feel better if I were lighter. I've been there before. Remember that 10 day Master Cleanse? Yeah, I lost 10 pounds and I was amazed by how good I felt I looked. I even got from my family that I looked "too" skinny. But honestly, I felt good, I felt that I looked good and that's what mattered. For a precious month (before I started to gain the weight back) I didn't think about my weight. It was almost a non-issue and it was SO nice to have that weight off my chest...I suppose the pun is appropriate.

I've been trying to get back to that weight and I was getting there slowly but surely. Then I hurt my foot. Man, I can do A LOT of damage in six weeks of NOT working out. I mean, I've not gained 10 pounds, heck probably just about 6, but that's 6 pounds I had struggled to lose. Pounds don't come off as easily on me as it might on others.

I realized after training for my 10k that I like challenges...and training. I challenged myself with the Master Cleanse, and last summer, I challenged myself with going vegan for 2 weeks. This will be however, a 10 WEEK challenge. It's nothing crazy, it's just working out regularly, eating better, and cooking more. I'm wanting this routine to turn into a habit the way running had turned into a habit.

So these are the parameters: Starting Monday, memorial day I will:
* Work out daily, perhaps even twice a day (I don't have a job.)
* I will allow myself 1 savory and 1 sweet treat a week.
* I will allow myself 1-2 alcoholic beverages a week.
* I will try to cook at least twice a week for dinner, if not more.
* Cut out dairy and sugar. (Does agave count?)

My goals:
* I'd like to lose 10-15 pounds, but ideally one pound a week.
* Get stronger for dancing and running
* I'd like to eat between 1200-1400 calories, depending.
* Drink lots of water!

Overall Goals:
* Run another 10k this summer
* Run a half marathon next summer
* Run a marathon eventually (???)
* Cycle around the Gorge or something equally cool!

So that's my goal starting this Monday. I want it to be flexible enough and close enough to my reality to just work its way in. These are things I've wanted to do for a long time (cook more) so I just want to make sure I'm cooking the right things.

So any tips, advice, suggestions and RECIPES are totally welcome. You have a great bean salad recipe, let me know! You know how to make the most delicious oven baked chicken breast, please tell me!

This is me just kicking ME in the pants. No one can change my life but myself, so here I go!

Bar Withdrawl

Yesterday was my last day of my 30 day unlimited pass at The Portland Bar Method and already I'm having withdrawal. I miss the heat in my burning muscles, the super hard pretzl positions, the dance music, but most of all, I miss the feeling of accomplishment I feel after I've done it.

I decided that my working outs will consist of reshaping my body and helping my body to dance better. Obviously a wonderful side effect would be to lose some weight and trim up, but I'm trying really hard not to focus on that. SO about a month ago, I started going to The Portland Bar Method, which is kind of a mix of Pilates, Yoga and Ballet all in one. I knew that if I wanted to be a better Tango dancer, I needed to start strengthening my muscles and working on my posture. Well Bar has done/is doing just that for me. Not just for Tango do I need this however, I've been going to a chiropractor for a problem with my pelvis and she too was very adamant about needed to have better posture (core training) and stronger muscles to protect my joints. Mostly I can crack every bone in my body and usually there is *something* in my body that hurts or gets injured. When I run, my back feels like its going to snap a part and my knees hurt. When I bike, my knee pops, when I Tango improperly, my lower back aches. So I've been trying to correct this for the last year. So far, so good! And the last time I went to the chiropractor, she could tell the difference in my legs and glutes. My glutes are a big problem because although they are the largest muscle in the body, (are they? I should look that up...) I never use them. For some reason I taught myself to use my back instead. So these last few months have been all about re-training my body to use its muscles properly. That's where Bar comes in. We get into a bunch of contorted positions that make you REALLY think and focus: ok, use that not this, feel it here and here.... and that I do. My only regret, however, is pushing myself too hard to the point of injury. I was out for a week in total because of that and I felt bad. I pulled my hamstring last year and apparently, re-injury is quite common and quite easy.

So these next couple weeks, I'm taking a break from bar. I'm going to go to a massage therapist to see if she can get the scar tissue out of my hamstring and glutes. I'll still try to do some walking and perhaps some light weights.

So, my goals for this year: More bar to strengthen those muscles, more tango. I think I didn't go ONCE this month, start walking, maybe move back into running a couple miles a week or so and learn a new dance. Hip-hop perhaps?

Oh and also, after my birthday festivities and all the eating I'll be doing, I've planned on doing a vegan cleanse for a week. Not like the crazy one I did last time, NO THANKS! But this one is all smoothies and vegetables as well as grains. I think I can live with that!

Injuries SUCK

Last year, like most after ending a long term relationship, I decided to try some new things (discover who I am) and some old things (re-discover who I was.) I decided I wanted to stay active and I missed sports. The only sports I ever played seriously was volleyball. Soccer I touched upon (since we're a soccer family) but volleyball is where I stayed. I started playing volleyball in 6th grade. I've always been pretty athletic and can pretty much pick up any sport and be semi-good at it, so volleyball too came naturally. What didn't come naturally, was my parents having to shell out a bunch of money for me to get better. You see, 6th grade was probably about a year after we got back from Mexico: broke. So while all my other little 6th grade friends attended volleyball camps and clubs...I didn't. I played Winter Ball, which is the poor man's version of camp. So by the time I got to be a freshman in high school, everyone that was on the same level as me, or even below, got that much better...way better. My best friend from middle school was freshman starter for Varsity...I was on the freshman team. Then next year I made JV. I figured that was the case because I was in a car accident that summer and couldn't perform my best. I hurt my back. Junior year, my coach was SURE I'd make Varsity because I was the best on our team. Nope, back to JV. I also figured it was because I sprained my ankle bad that summer, so again, I couldn't perform my best. You see, I do better when I'm challenged, not when I'm on top, so I figured one year of Varsity under my belt and I'd be golden by Senior year. She had other ideas. Basically the head coach told me that there was and never will be a position for me in Varsity, would I like to be the towel girl? I said fuck that. (Sorry...it upsets me, and no I didn't really say that but I was PISSED!) I had been going to her volleyball camps since 6th GRADE and she still didn't see me as Varsity material. My parents were finally able to afford a PSU camp where all the coaches thought I was already on Varsity. I was good. I wasn't great, but I was good and I knew I could get better.

After the heartbreak, I turned full force to theatre and music...and that's basically who I became...a singer and dancer. But I still wondered what would have happened had I continued playing sports.

So fast forward 9 years and I decide to join Kate's underdog Volleyball team and it all comes rushing back: the muscle memory, the competitiveness, the adenine rush...and the injuries. Obviously, I'm not as young as I used to be and in my naivete, I start playing without warming up and POW...pain in my butt, literally...it goes all the way down the back of my leg. Hmmm. I wonder, I've never felt this way before. I play one more game and it gets worse. The pain originates from the bottom of my right butt cheek, around the bone, all the way down the back of my right leg's knee. It doesn't heal. I can't turn over in bed, I can't get out of the car, I can't turn and twist my leg, driving hurts, sitting hurts. WTF. After a couple months of pain, I go see a sports medicine dude. He takes an X-Ray (which is for bones, yes.) And says there is no damage to the bone, but what might have happened was a bone to muscle tear, versus a muscle to tendon tear and that it takes MONTHS of recovery. Well, F. Here comes me getting fat.

Now, fast forward another year...and I hurt it again and again. Every time I think its healed up, Youch! I feel it again. The problem is that now, this is the muscle I have to use for all my dancing! It's quite depressing. I mean, I can recognize the first inklings of pain, but since doing bar method, I'm in sore ass pain every single day, so I didn't notice the difference. So, I decided I need to take a break, a one week break. THAT'S SO LONG! I'm super bummed.

So here I am, ice pack on my leg and butt, heating pad at night and mom playing physical therapist and massaging only the area I would have liked a boyfriend to massage: my butt. *sigh*

Here's to a speedy recover. Send good healing vibes my way so I can start up my bar come Wednesday.

Dance videos

Ok, so this is what I've been up to...

I've been going to Vega Dance Lab in on SE Water for a few months now. After deciding to quit going to the gym (because I can't run any more) I figured I'd supplement my Tango with work out dance classes. My friend Kate was the one that recommended this place to me after I mentioned I wanted to try out something a little bit different than standard partner dancing, but also needed to get a work out. Our first classes together was something called Burly Q. It's basically a Burlesque dance class and I LOVE it! The music, the moves, the instructor Evie. Sadly, she is on maternity leave, and I am on leave from that class right now too. The sub-instructor is super talented but leans heavily toward hip-hop which I TOTALLY suck at, and therefore does not make the dancing enjoyable, so I shall wait. In the meantime, my roommate had been going to Tease n Tone, so I decided to join her. And man, did I get addicted!

Tease n Tone is a one hour class. The first half hour is intense cardio, but dance style, the second half hour is a dance routine. Below is one of the dance routines. Usually, they'll change after 2-3 weeks. On the last day of class, the instructors tape the routine. If you look closely, you can see me and my roommate in the way back.




Now, here is a taste of what Burly Q is like. Man, I love it! Can't wait to start it up again.



Seriously people, these dance moves are so sultry and easy to learn and adaptable to any dance. Also, its a teeny little routine that I'm sure you can use for other times...if you know what I mean ;)

So, not only is Vega awesome because it has cool people and cool dance classes among other things, they also have workshops! As you know, I dance Tango. Even though I've been doing it about a year now and I know many moves and steps, I think my technique is bad. I know what to do with my feet, where to put them, how to stand, but I think I just lack proper technique in *how* to hold myself up, how to hold my legs, etc. Also, in Tease n Tone and Burly Q, there is a lot of hip shaking and leg turning and such...so I figured I'd take a Beginners Technique to advance my understanding of how my body should feel when I do certain moves and what it should look like. So last weekend was my first day. Our instructor is awesome! He's adorable too and I think probably 10 years younger than me but I love him! He's so sweet and positive and its EXACTLY what I need stepping into this new realm. I'm scared of dance, but I want to learn and be good so bad, that I don't let it get in the way. And having an instructor that's all "hey, be positive, allow your body to move and learn and don't be afraid" is just that much better.

And just because I can't get enough of moving my body...I'm doing the Portland Bar Method five days a week. I'm on day two, so come next week, I'll have a little review of what's going on with that. But I will say: it's totally helping with my technique too.

So...enjoy the videos and maybe one of these days you'll join me at one of the classes. Seriously, its fun!

On Dancing

I'm kind of a walking contradiction of sorts. I'm a reserved person, but I like attention. I like to perform, but I feel overwhelmed in groups of people. I like being one on one, but too much of that kind of solitude leaves me antsy for being social. Quien me entiende!

Growing up, I was an EXTREMELY shy kid. I didn't like the spot light, I didn't want people to notice me. As I grew a little older, apparently I grew a little bolder. I'd performed in choir since I can remember, and I even lip sank "Catch Me I'm Falling" for our 2nd grade talent show. Who the F was I back then!?

Then it all changed...I moved to Mexico. Why the move affected me so much, I honestly have no idea, but I can now pinpoint that I became a different more frightened person. It was also the time that I got my period and placed me a part from all the other little girls. I guess that was it. I was different, always have been and always will be. I embrace it now (to an extent) but when you're 9 years old in a foreign country, held back a grade, speak with a funny accent, have no friends AND start your period...ya goddamn do feel pretty different. Compound that with coming FROM a country where you just stick out like a sore thumb being the only Mexi-American...Yeah, I had issues...still do to an extent. I'll get to that on some point.

I didn't really have friends growing up in Mexico, but I did discover that I REALLY loved to sing. The dancing? Not so much. Why did I hate the dancing? Probably because my dad LOVED the dancing. At weddings here in the states, my dad would drag me on the dance floor and we'd dance rock 'n' roll songs. I did really enjoy it, but in Mexico, I dunno, something changed. I wanted to disappear, I wanted to hide, I didn't want to be noticed so I tucked the dancing away for a very very long time...a kind of rebellion I could control of sorts.

I think I'd always had the performer's bug. When we got back from Mexico and I entered middle school here in the states, I began to seriously think I could be an actress. I could really get wrapped up in emotions, "act" it out, cry on cue. I thought "this is it, I could do it." My mom did indulge me here and there and even took me on a few auditions. I'd look through the yellow pages for talent companies and such, but I think deep down inside, I knew the money to put me in a program like that would be too much, so I just started to give up. I did stay involved with choir in middle school and auditioned for a play here and there. I loved it.

I didn't start dancing, formally, until let's see, sophomore year in high school. I was in the musical "Little Shop of Horrors" as one of the 17 doo wop girls. (Yes, in the original there are only three, but our director decided it best if 7-8 girls sang the one part.) So I had to learn choreography and what better choreography to learn than music from the 50s. It was so much fun! It was a thrill to be able to express this silly, theatrical side of myself because for so long, even still, I keep it at bay. The for one of our multicultural assemblies, I volunteered to perform the Mambo with the only other Mexi-American (who happened to be also my psedo little brother) and it all came flooding at me like a side-ways flash from Lost (you like how I did that?) I thought to myself: "omigosh! I love this music, I can actually move, look at my hips? I can *feel* it..." So it was no surprised that when I was exposed to Salsa my freshman year in college, I was hooked.

Now, I'm not saying I wish I was all "Jazz hands" and such (I love "Bring it on"!) because I don't. I like who I am, but I could use a few self-improvements here and there. I love performing, singing and dancing, but that's just my performer self. Then there is the real me. The self-contained, quirky Andrea. But ms. quirks sometimes REALLY wants to cut loose and that's where performer me needs to step in. And what does that for me? Dance.

So this sounds so dramatic. No, I"m not going to Julliard, I don't care for ballet or Jazz and the thought of needing/wanting to learn hip-hop makes my tummy convulse. But the thought of just letting go and doing what I love half an hour every day, is quite appealing. I like my life, I like how its going (for now) and there are some areas that I definitely could change, but dance makes it that much more tolerable. It gives me a space to vent and to just be. And an added bonus? It's given me quite the ego boost...and I really need it. When I look at myself in the mirror while dancing to the latest routine in our burlesque class or tease n tone, I realize: "dude, I'm not as fat as I thought" or "wow, I actually DO look sexy doing this" and it gives me that extra pep, that extra confidence if I were to EVER go up to a guy and say hello, because regardless of what that guy might say or think, I can look back at the memory of my gyrating my hips and thinking "too bad for you guy, you're gonna miss out".

And what prevented me from taking dance seriously? Fear. Fear of sucking, fear of what others thought of me, fear of liking it even... So like many, after a 5 year relationship, I looked at myself and said "what do YOU want to do?" I told myself: I want to learn how to Argentine Tango. And the same answer popped up. "Oh you can't, you're terrified of physical contact with strangers, plus you always said you wanted to dance this with a boyfriend." (this is the third Andrea speaking, the one that kind of doesn't like me.) And so I told her "Fuck it. I don't care. This is what I want so shut your face." And her face did shut.

And yes, I'm one of those odd birds who only likes specific physical contact. Dancing at clubs was always very difficult and traumatizing for me. Can you blame me? I was raised Catholic. Being touched by someone that was NOT your husband is kind of no no. So I've developed this love/hate relationship with touching and hugging. And three months into Tango came the close embrace. Yeah, the embrace where you're basically boob to boob on the guy. It took me that whole month not to cringe. Not cuz the guy was smelly or inappropriate, but because I wanted to turn and run. But I wanted to learn and be good at Argentine Tango more. And now, almost a year later, I'm a close embrace whore. "Would you like to dance? Close embrace? Thank you!"

Now, why Argentine Tango over Salsa, you might ask? Salsa is fun and flowy and out there and in your face and sexual...Does that sound like me? Not.at.all. Ok, maybe in the bedroom (did I just say that?!) Tango, in my opinion, is more like me: quietly passionate, self-contained but bubbling below the surface. The sexuality is not in your face, but in the subtly of the movements and the look in your eye. That's more how I am on an everyday basis and even though hugging complete strangers "titty to titty" as they say is TOTALLY out of my comfort zone...well, I like to do things that challenge so go figure. Salsa is fun, but that's all it will ever be...just fun, like that hot guy you flirt with but would never consider dating.

I know I may not be the best, most talented or graceful dancing, but I'm willing to put the work in to try. So what I've decided is to start working on strength training and flexibility versus just cardio. I can't run any more *tear* so most of my work out will solely benefit Argentine Tango. In addition to Tango, I also do burlesque dancing (really more of a work out) as well as tease n tone. I like moving my body in those sexy, sultry ways, but I like to move them in a safe environment and what better than a class full of women. Ok, sure, there might be some lesbians but I choose to ignore that. I guess I know my own power and don't want some dude coming up to me and humping my leg ;) Yes, I've had that happen before...Ah college.

So dancing? Check. Work out? Here I come. I've decided to join the Portland Bar Method. I've not started yet but it sounds like something that will be right up my alley. I've tried yoga and it just never worked out for me. I tried pilates and its OK, but I'm hoping the Bar will be more of a dancer's work out than anything and if I end up losing a few inches here and there, well fantastic. All I really want to do is gain strength in my legs and back so I can do turns and bend.

So off to my next journey. On the schedule for today? Argentine Tango. Practice makes perfect.

No wonder I've always liked dance movies...

First hike of the Season-Klickitack

It's been a while since I posted a book review or well anything as of late. I've been really into self-help books and honestly, no offense, but the social commentary I'd have on those is a little too personal for public blogs, so I'm keeping those nuggets to myself. I need to finish up The Greatest Generation and then I'll start on Hero Street. I'm sure I'll have something to say about that one.

But in the meantime, the weather is finally getting nice here in Portland, Or so a few friends and I have been trying to get out and enjoy with with a few weekend hikes.

A couple weeks ago, by the magic of FB, a friend posted about going on a Sunday hike and if anyone was interested. Luckily, I was actually awake that early enough so I said I'd go. By 11:30am I was at her house and ready to go. I hadn't asked her any details about where we were going, how long, or if I should bring food. You see, I'm a newbie with the whole hiking thing. My family did not go hiking nor camping. Pop always said "Why would I pay to sleep on the floor when I slept on the floor when I was young because we were so poor." Good point. So we never did that and I grew accustomed to indoor activities: movies, dancing, drawing, singing, driving. There was the occasional walk around the neighborhood and maybe trip to the park, but never a full blown day of hiking somewhere beautiful, so when I met my roommate, who is super into the outdoors (except for the camping part!) I made a vow that I was going to get into it too. It's just not one of my default activities, but I'm trying.

So as mentioned, two weeks ago, my friend Kate and I ventured 1.5 hours east to the lovely area of Mt. Hood and crossed the White Salmon bridge into Washington. It was just the perfect temperature and perfect sun light. I even got a little sun on my neck.

Here is a shot of us driving toward Klickatack on the Washington side. Even in a car, its just beautiful



Afterward, Kate mentioned this beautiful rest area with a view. And that it was!





From there, we started. This used to be an old railway area. It was a very easy hike that was a long the river. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I was so happy it wasn't a hard hike either!






We did see a ton of wildlife including a frog, a variety of butterflies, vultures, herons and even seagulls, which I found to be quite funny.



Finally, we were coming to the end of our hike and off in the distance you could see Mt. Hood.



Perfect ending to a lovely day. I'd never hung out with Kate alone, as she is my best-friend from college's childhood friend (think about it...) so it was nice to have a wonderful background to a blossoming new relationship.

Paradise Park-Mt. Hood

*Longest post EVER.

This past Saturday I did something I never thought I'd do: a 12.3 mile hike. Yes, I can hear your gasps. I heard them from everyone I told. Honestly, it didn't seem like that bad of an idea, or that long. But I've done this before. I've run a 10k without really realizing HOW LONG it really was. So I said to myself "12 miles? Well, I'll be walking so it's ok." Yeah, walking UP HILL! But I digress.

I should also mention that even though it was 12.3 miles, it was one of the highlights of my summer (after my Karaoke birthday party and Kelly's engagement). My friend Morgan (who moved here from Kentucky in April) and I decided on her day off, we'd tackle and day hike and finally settled on Paradise Park in Mt. Hood. That or the coast. The coast, we will do for her birthday in October. Her 30th birthday. So coast, please don't rain for my dear friend Morgan.

We decided, since it was a Saturday, we didn't really want to get up to early, so Morgan came to pick me up at 9am and off we went to Mt. Hood. We finally started our trek at 11am. This was our view from the trail head.



As we ascended the trail toward the mountain, we got a little lost. The directions in the book weren't as detailed as we wanted, this being our first time and all, so when we came upon this sign, we were perplexed:



I decided with how the immigration policy was going, I'd better jet.



Just kidding. We decided to keep going straight cuz as you can tell from the sign, the choices were "Canada" or "Mexico" and we decided um, Mt. Hood. So straight we went.
The book directions told us we'd cross under two ski lifts, so this is what we saw when we did that:






We finally felt like we were on the right path. It was truly amazing and the best weather. We couldn't have asked for a better day. One thing I was completely surprised by was the buzzing of the bees. Poor Morgan has a "thing" about bees so I'm sure this was unsettling for her. I just ignored them (having faith they wouldn't find me tasty) and we trekked through, but man, was there buzzing. Once we finally came out of a small thing of woods, there was the beautiful mountain. Morgan decided to "explore".



We were still not 100% sure we were on the right track until we found the sign. Man, were we happy!



After the encouragement from the sign that we were going the right way, we assented toward the ridge. Man, we were FAR UP! It was a bit vertigoish, but I managed. We took a few pictures of our time on the ridge. Morgan needed to look sexy for hers:




After the ridge, we came upon a sign that said we needed a permit. We were a bit perplexed. We opened the box and basically it had a bunch of hand written notes: dates, names, destination. So that we did. Then I decided to sit in the rock chair and contemplate life for oh, 5 seconds.



After the ridge, we went into the forest. This was beautiful but didn't quite capture how I saw it in my mind's eye.



Then we came upon a moss wall



And had to cross a broken bridge





Honestly, out of all of the hike, the forest was my least favorite (but still loved it) because I felt a bit claustrophobic. Finally, I have no idea how many miles it was, but we got to the bottom where we had to cross the glacier run. We were NOT looking forward to that. So, we decided to break and have lunch.



I was there too =)



Finally, we mustered up all our courage and crossed the river. We were successful! We didn't die nor get wet, but what I always forget is that if we cross it once, we have to cross it twice. But I didn't think about that until well, we had to cross it again.
After that forested part, we came out into a beautiful open meadow. Man, this whole HIKE was just beautiful. We saw some plants that we dubbed Lorax cuz they looked like a character from dr. Seuss




And then we came to the turning point:



Do we keep going and do 12.3 miles or do we head back. After our poses we made our decision. I didn't like Morgan touching my sweaty ass back, so here I am, making a face!



And I didn't like my rolls, so I cropped it.



We headed forth. We knew no matter how hard it would be, we'd be proud we did it.

More meadows and a beautiful camp ground. Man, if I were a camper, I'd go here. If I have someone that would like to go camping next summer, I know exactly where to go! Since this was a loop, honestly, I have no idea where the "end" was, but we started to descend down. Unfortunately, there was another little river glacier thing we had to cross. Morgan was successful



But I was not so much. I hate doing the splits:






After this crossing, it was back into the forest and finally onto the ridge. By this time, we were pretty spent and didn't take as many pictures. We just wanted to get to Timberline alive!

Finally it was time to cross the major glacier river thing, the first one. Morgan went first and unfortunately a naughty rock decided to tilt mid walk and she fell about thigh deep into the water. She got a bit scrapped up and a bit wet, but was fine:



We sat there for a bit to rest and muster up all energy. I think it took us about two more hours to get back to Timberline. We were seriously so tired. Our bodies and feet ached. Finally, I saw the ski lifts and said "we're close!" and kind of jogged. Morgan was having none of it.

I think all in all, we did about 7 hours of hiking with a few breaks here and there. Its the longest I've ever been on and thus far, the most beautiful. I'm really glad I did this, and had really great company on the way there. Next up? Cascade at the coast!




*Note* Unfortunately, my recollection of events might be out of order. Also images # 8-12, 15-17, 20 & 21, 26-29 are Morgan Mathews'.

I want a damn banana!

Yes, this is day 9 and I want food. Mainly fruit, but food nonetheless. I've not craved much in these nine days except for a turkey sandwich from Ken's, dried apples and last night, a banana. My mind, instead of staying calm and waiting for the last day, is starting to think of the ways I can gorge myself when I'm off, which is NOT the idea I had for this cleanse. My idea was to come of this feeling clean and free of toxins to smoothly transition into a healthier state of vegan eating, and slowly introduce meat back into my lifestyle but excluding dairy for now.
Instead, I'm angry, frustrated and want to eat grilled cheese sandwiches, beef-ka-bobs and what not.
So, I've decided that today will be my last day. I pondered it last night while I sat on the couch lounging and heading to the bathrooms more times than I liked to admit. I was done with this. I'm not sure I feel anything different. Perhaps I did do it wrong, but I did it. Maybe not all 10 days, but I did 9. Nine is better than none. So I bought some extra lemons before I decided this and I will be giving those left overs to my co-worker. I will THROW AWAY the cayenne pepper packet that I have and I will leave the maple syrup here at work. I am also worried about being in 85 degree whether tomorrow with nothing but water for oh 7 hours.
What have I learned:
Mentally: this cleanse should have been 5-6 days. Around those days were my high. I was feeling gung ho and good about everything. I was ready to eat healthy and craved nothing.
Physically: I think I could go longer without eating much, which will probably be the plan now that I start eating. Physically, I noticed no difference. I lost a bit of weight, but not as much as I expected. I had eaten a lot of food and not worked out the week of my birthday and well, my body just likes to pile on the pounds. So that was kind of a bummer, but oh well. This is a good starting off point and I can continue.
Eating: I don't need as much food to fill myself up as I think. So this time around, I will be very deliberate about what I eat and consume. Oh, I will be no angel about this, I'll have a cupcake or pastry here and there, but I'll try very hard to keep all the portions small. I enjoy that my stomach gets full after two glasses of water, so that is what I will try to keep up: a small stomach.

Today after work, I'm going to buy a ton of fruit and some nuts. I'm not sure how my tummy will fair with this, but we'll see. I really am worried about being out in the heat with nothing else to eat, so I'm goign to stash said nuts and dried fruit in my underwear! (I kid!)

So that's it. The master cleanse is over, one day short. And again, remind me NEVER to do this particular one again. If it has the word "CAYENNE" in it, I'm running.

They say . . .

Day 8
Two more days. Can I survive?

They say day 1, 3 or 4 are the hardest, but I completely disagree. I think day 7-9 are the hardest because by now, one has gotten so damn sick of this stuff that its no longer fun and exciting, its nauseating. Perhaps I'm doing it all "wrong" and not seeing the actual benefits. Honestly, I can't really tell. One thing I noticed today was that my sinuses are cleared in the morning. But still, its not enough for me to want to ever do this again. So please, if I EVER mention that I'm thinking of doing the cleanse again, direct me back to my blog and make me read all entries out loud. I'll say this right now to my future self: ANDREA DON'T DO IT! NEVER EVER AGAIN!
But with anything, eating the same dang thing day in and day out and running to the bathroom in the middle of the day and before you go to bed, is just not for me. No no. I've also come to realize that as much as I find routine comforting: knowing what to expect next, knowing what I'm doing tomorrow, etc. eating and doing the same thing over and over again is quite boring. I like the way my life is right now, its quite pleasant for me. Its not the most exciting, but I think its enriching. But, throw this dang cleanse in the middle of it and I feel tied down and want to burst free.
So what have I learned? Don't eat the same thing too often, no matter how convenient it can be. Yesterday, I volunteered at the food bank, packaging, well, food. And I've never craved oatmeal and cereal so bad! I love cereal, but I've decided to give up on it. I'm also going to cut back a bit on soy milk and use rice milk or almond milk (whichever is not so watery.) I'll leave the soy for lattes.
Anyway, two more days and I want to die. Ok, that's dramatic, but I want to eat, just out of spite, out of anger, out of frustration but I won't. I shall persevere.

And on another note. I want to go camping. I never have, but I'd like to, with the right people. I'm envious of everyone's Facebook post.

Day 7

Well, just 3 more days to go. That doesn't sound like much, right? Well, when trying to down 6-10 glasses of this sh*t, well it does. Yesterday, I played with the idea of giving up. Not because I can't do it, but because I'm bored and this crap is getting nasty. I start to feel nauseous when I drink it, and I don't know about you, but I hate nausea. What else has been happening? At night, if I don't go to bed at a decent hour, I start to feel a bit high, and the first few days my legs have been aching, but that also might have been dehydration. But, the headaches have gone away as well as the leg aches. I only hit the gym once this week and then had tango that same night. I probably won't be hitting the gym for the rest of the week. I just want to take it easy. I've been a bit tired and like I've said, a bit bored, so the feeling of wanting to stop is getting a bit more powerful, but I won't do it. Unless something horrible happens, I won't do it. I am looking forward to Friday when I have MONEY and I can actually shop for food again. That's actually what I miss. Not necessarily the food to eat, but the shopping that goes a long with the eating of the food. I guess I'll appreciate the taste of the food more now. I plan on hitting the farmer's market on Saturday market to stock up on fruits and berries as well as veggies to make a yummy veggie soup. Sunday is my Mom's birthday and Krista's celebration, but I won't be eating. I'll even be making the cake and not eat it! Plus that cake will have tons of dairy and that's the ONE thing I want to cut out for a while. I want to stop eating cheese, milk and yogurt and see how I feel. But for now, I must keep trucking, no matter how grossed out I am. Just 3 more days . . .

The half-way point

So, I'm a perfectionist. I hate to do things wrong the first time. If I'm going to do something, I'm going to do something right the.first.time. I've been like that since I can remember. When I moved to Mexico at age 9 and was held back because of the difference in academics (how they explained it to me was that being held back into 3rd grade was really like going into 4th grade), I decided that I was NOT going to act held back, so I became an over achiever. I did all the homework first and well. Obviously, that first year was tough, as I did not speak, nor read or write, in Spanish, but once I hit 4th grade, I was at the top of my class, and of course, the Mexicans hated me because I made them look bad. In 5th grade, I switched schools and people were much nicer. Since I was at the head of my class there too, I had the privilage of holding the Mexican flag (along with two other girls) during one of the important ceremonies. I felt good. So when I came *back* to Portland for the rest of the half of 5th grade, I had the same mentality. I had lost three weeks of school for one, but had missed 4 months of American-English PPS so I was behind. But I didn't let that bother me. I ended up doing ALL the school years' homework in a short 4 months. Again, the kids did not like this. I'm sure they thought this "Mexican" was making them look bad too. So that's how I lead my life: as a perfectionist. If I got a problem wrong, I'd work hard until I figured out how to get it right. I never cheated because I felt it was AND I really wanted to know how to get the answer. This later turned into NEVER getting anything wrong, I couldn't have it. I think as I got older, the sense of control and power that comes with "getting things right the first time" began to consume me until I did NOT allow myself to get anything wrong . . . ever. My friendships had to be perfect, my body had to be perfect, my life had to be perfect, my boy friend (at the time) had to be perfect, I had to be perfect . . . all on the first try. No matter how many times my brother told me "You think Jimi Hendrix picked up the and was sweet on the first time?" (and yes, I do believe he was "sweet" on the first time,) I didn't believe it. I thought, *I* had to be perfect on the FIRST time.
So, my world got put on its head about 5 months ago. Things that I thought were true, were not. Things I thought would happen, did not. They way my perfect life was going to turn out, did not. This all made me do a lot of thinking. What if I allowed myself to make mistakes, to just try and see what happens, to even if I'm not good or right "the first time" I allowed myself to continue forth, because I liked it. What if. . .
So that I've been doing, with a lot in my life. There have been many changes going on, but they are lurking under the surface of what you see on the outside. Sure, I don't wear as much black, and my hair is shorter now, but that's just the tip of the ice berg of what's going on inside. I think sometimes I don't give myself enough credit for what *is* actually going on. I get down on myself for not already having this "perfect" life I envisioned (on the first try), or the Oscar I thought I'd win, or the movie I thought I'd direct, or heck, the children I thought I'd have by now.
So now, comes the cleanse. This is my first time. I've done a "detox" but that honestly, did not work. I'm not even sure if this one is working, but I've finally have lost a bit more weight than the first few days and I'm starting to feel the symptoms that they were talking about in the book: I'm tasting things even though I've eaten NOTHING. Apparently, its the toxins that are coming out. But one thing I learned by mistake or well, more like trial and error, is that I really should take the salt water flush at night and my tea in the morning. I took the tea at night two days in a row and barely slept. My tummy was all crampy and I had to head to the bathroom more than once, and I need my sleep! So, if I had not tried the tea at night, I would not have known I shouldn't do it.
And that, ladies and gentleman, is the moral of my story. I have to not be afraid to fail. I can try, make a mistake and still go for it. I can try and get it "right" on the first time, but not have it consume me or get it "right" on the third and forth time. I'm at my half way point and I'm feeling pretty good. I'm a little tired (but I attribute that to the early morning wake up calls) but I've not felt this all consuming need to eat. I just feel calm about food. But one thing I did learn is: I miss cooking.

Day 3

Day 3
So I'm going to try to change my tactic today. I went to bed super late and woke up early. Late because I drank two lemonades in a row and then the salt water flush and had to wait for it to go through my body before bed. I have to wake up early because I volunteer. Honestly, I'm not sure if its working or not. Perhaps I'm not that toxic. I can't tell if I'm eliminating enough or not. I'm not sure if I'm over doing it with the water. I'm really scared to get faint, but I'll just try to cut back on the lemonade and definitely the water and make my laxative tea a little stronger in the mornings and see if that helps. I'll take one at night too. I read in the book that the author only did the salt water flush 3 times and the rest was laxative (but he took pills, I don't want to.) So we'll see. Up the laxative strength, lower the lemonade intake to no more than 8 and lower the water. I just don't know what the water to lemonade ration should be.

So far, its 3:10 and I've only had 3 lemonades and my tea, no water. I feel a bit murky in the sinuses which the book said would happen. I feel stuff and my throat feels coated. I just woke up from a nap and want to take another. I hate taking naps in the middle of a sun shiny day, but oh well. I think I'm finally feeling a difference, but not sure. They say day one, thee and four are the hardest, but I don't know in what sense they mean. Hard in the not eating thing, or hard in the getting rid of waste thing. If its the waste, I hope so, If its the food, well its not that bad really. I got really hungry while being out in the garden, but when I came home and made a lemonade, I felt fine. It made me realize how MUCH I rely on eating food for comfort. On good days/months, I eat on a small meals on a schedule. Its hard to do on the weekends. On bad days, I eat whenever I'm hungry. I do like the first tactic because it doesn't give me a chance to starve and I am only using food to fuel my body. Right now, since food is cut out of the equation, I don't even think about it. I do think about how sad it is not to invite friends out for a happy hour or lunch because everything relies heavily on food or drink, so I'm being a bit of hermit, I know. I did go out last night with some friends, and surprisingly, I was fine. I did end up leaving a bit before they did cuz I was super hungry (it had been 5 hours between lemonades) and I smelled baked bread and wanted it really bad. So now, I can kind of see the difference between a craving and wanting. Once I removed myself, I didn't want the bread anymore. But yeah, I usually give into cravings, but now I'll think twice before I really want to do that to my body, cuz a craving is usually a slice of bread or a cupcake.

It's midnight, I have a headache and I'm hungry. Other than that, things are good. I do think perhaps two more glasses would have sufficed. Now I know, but all is still well so far. Six is perhaps not enough.

Day 2

Day 2

After a night of hanging out in the bathroom, (don't ask, I won't tell.) I woke up this morning hitting the snooze. I think my neighbor is still noisy which kind of sucks for me =( Oh well for now. I didn't wake up hungry, nor running the the bathroom, so I got up and went to the kitchen to start the water on my tea. I'm the kind of gal who likes to plan the night ahead because I'm usually rushing around like a chicken with my head cut off, so planning my outfits and packing my gym bag the night in advanced is always a saving grace. So I made my tea and relaxed a bit reading some online news, then began to get ready.
Again, so far so good. I do have a slight headache again, but that could be that the caffeine that I got off of last week is finally hitting me, but its nothing I can't handle for now. I am still a bit sleepy, but that's only cuz I don't go to bed at a good time. Tonight might be the same deal as I have a birthday party to go to and then in the morning I'm volunteering at the farm, so I might just take a few glasses before I head out to tie me over.
It's actually kind of nice not having to deal or think about food. Don't get me wrong, I like food, but I do have a love hate relationship with it. I love to eat it, but I don't like what it does to my body. I work out and I'm pretty healthy, but I started out a chubby kid so I have to try hard to stay fit. I mean, by BMI starndards, I'm "over weight" and sure, I feel a bit squishy around the edges, but I actually think I look and feel pretty good. I think the rest, for me, is vanity. There is a certain weight I wish to attain where I feel just fine. If I really were to go down to day, 110 pounds or something, I'd just be solid muscle with bone, if that. But that's not my goal. I don't want to just be bones and muscles.
So at the end of the day, I'm feeling pretty ok. Onto day 3.

The Master Cleanse-Day 1

9:30 am
My alarm went of at 7:15 but I didn't actually roll out of bed until 8am. I had planned to get up, make my tea, drink it, take a shower, let the tea coarse through my body and drink my lemonade concoction at 8am. Well that didn't happen. Instead I hurriedly made my tea, checked my emails, sipped my tea (cuz it was too hot to actually drink), finished half of it, hopped out of the shower, finished the tea and off to the kitchen to make my lemonade: 2 tablespoons of lemon, 2 tablespoons of maple, 8 oz of water and 1/10 of cayenne, but I only had a measuring spoon for 8. Well, there I went 8:30am and drinking my drink. Reaction: tons of coughing. As Kristin pointed out, I don't like hot things, so the fact that I probably put more cayenne in it than I should have didn't help. Second reaction: its too sweet. I like sugar, but I think I'm done with it for now. Usually, I don't like sugary drinks, I just like them to be sweet. And I've decided, before all this went down, that I'd make this every hour until I got home. I'm supposed to have 6-12 cups in a day, more if I'm working out, so my last one will be 5pm before I hit the gym. After the first drink, I immediately downed some water and vowed to put less cayenne and less maple syrup.
Time to make another glass.

10:30 am (three glasses)
The drink sucks ass and makes me nauseated, but must keep trucking along. So far nothing horrible. I am hungry, but not STARVING like I expected to be. I think that as long as I take them on a scheduled basis, there will be no excuse to get super hungry. Like I might have mentioned, I have a bit of a headache and feel just a tad fuzzy in the head (I couldn't remember someone's name a moment ago) to the point of a bit of light headedness, but other than that, I feel pretty ok. I will say this: I don't think I'll be having any maple syrup with my pancakes any time soon after this . . . YUCK. I also think I'll look for an alternative to maple syrup. I know the book says something about raw cane juice . . . that might suit me better, make me less nauseated? Hopefully.

What I hope to achieve from this is the just clear out my body (my tummy and the intestines) of all the yucky I've accumulated through out the years. I know I have some reactions to a lot of good: onions, celery, garlic, milk, etc, so I want to slowly start introducing those things into my system, with milk being at the end of it. I want to start of my healthy eating fresh. Yes yes, I will indulge in cake and pie and pastries, but I'm hoping that after this, the craving for them will have gone down. I just want to know what it feels when things are functioning properly.

3:00 pm (seven glasses)
Its mid afternoon and I'm feeling sleepy. Just a few minutes ago, I started to get the hunger pangs. I knew it was time. Instead of letting just one hour pass between feedings (um, that's a weird way to put it), I let an hour AND A HALF pass and well, I guess that half hour was just too long. So quickly, I got up and made my drink. With the previous drink, around "lunch" time, I made myself some herbal tea. I decided to stop drinking so much water because I was afraid it would dilute its effects on me, but I think I'm going to start picking it up again.
What I am really looking forward to is going to sleep. After work, I plan on going to the gym to have a light work out, getting some more lemons at trader joes (cuz I don't think I've bought enough) then heading home. Depending on how I feel, I'll either sit and relax with a bit of Bones, or just head to bed. I've been needing a good nights sleep and if anything, this would be the night to do it. The relationship with food, however, has been interesting. Either I don't crave it or the idea of it makes me sick, much like after a hangover I suppose. I walk by the bowl of treats and chips at work and I take a mental "thank you" note to myself because I'm not "supposed" to have it. I mean, I'm not supposed to have candy anyway, I don't even like it, but I will, just cuz (which is the worse reason), but this time, I'm just happy I really "can't" and therefore, won't.

7:45pm (ten glasses)
I just got back from the gym and made my 10th cup. My lips are burning a little bit, but that's pretty much all the discomfort I feel right now. The gym was fine. I decided to take it easy. I did my stretching, then I did some ab work out and hopped on the bike for 20 minutes. When I walk home, I try to take it easy on the cardio as the walk home is exercise enough sometimes. The order of business is this: shower, salt water drink, an episode of Bones and hitting the sack. I think 10 glasses of this stuff is good enough for day one, don't you?

You might wonder whether I have some discomfort from drinking the laxative tea (which I am supposed to twice a day or once and then the salt water flush thing). And yes, it's there and no I will not go into detail because I'm a lady.

I'm gonna do it

Tomorrow, I will start off with day one of the Master cleanse. Yep, here I go. I'm not following the directions very well right now for the "ease" in cuz I'm just too poor to buy any extra ingredients except for what I really need (lemons and maple syrup.)

Since I got back from Mexico last spring, I'd been wanting to do something like this, but I just didn't find it. I did a detox, but it didn't work. So here I go, a year and a half late, but here I go. I'm gonna do it.

So far, I've eaten like sh*t today and I've had cramps for 2 days (sorry, TMI but its true.)

I think I will round off the night with some longed for Burger King and just start fresh tomorrow morning. Hopefully I can hit the gym too cuz lately my cramps have made me feel very unattractive and tired.

So tomorrow: the torture, but apparently, I'm a masochist. So we'll see.

Weeeeeee!

Hopefully, this cleanse will bring some clarity back to my brain too! How many times can I forget where I parked my car?!

So my symptoms:
Digestion issues. I seem to have an averse reaction to almost every food.
Clarity: I need to learn how to focus again. I feel like I'm in a fog.
Fatigue: Yeah, I've been tired.
Aches and pains: Yeah, I have those too.
Slightly blue mood: yeah, its so, but it could also be the period.

Off I gooooooooooo!

Argentine Tango

There are two superficial thingsI am scared of in this world. (I say superficial because the actual *real* things I'm scared of carry more weight, like my parents dying and me growing old to the age of ninety childless, with no one who loves me. Now, those are my real fears.)

So, the two things I am scared of in this world: sharks and touching strangers. As I've mentioned before, this is the year to fix my body and try new things. I've been to doctors, played volleyball, tried yoga, starred at sharks for longer than 3 seconds (on TV mind you) and now: Argentine Tango.

There is something that draws me to this dance more than any of the others I've danced or watched. In high school, I was big into swing dance and I carried that with me to college. In college, I began ballroom dancing which two of my very good friends were involved with. From ballroom, I branched out into Salsa, Cubmia and Merengue which most of my new Latino friends were really into. With those, there was something about the sounds and the rhythms that really drew me in.
As I grew older, I continued with the latin dances adding Bachata to me repertoire but there was ALWAYS something about tango and yet, it alluded me. It was mysterious and enthralling, angry yet romantic, frantic but smooth. I liked all those contradictions in one dance. Something I can identify with very well. Yes, I know there are different kinds but I'm sure the first introduction was in the movie "Scent of the Woman".


The fact that the lead danced so close, but yet made no advances made me feel comfortable. I like salsa because it lets me get the booty shaking out of me, but at the same time, it still makes me feel shy and uncomfortable. I don't like the feeling of loosing and trusting a partner completely or of a strange man rubbing up against me which many of the Latin American dances tend to do, much like hip-hop.
Now don't get me wrong, I KNOW Argentine Tango is a dance of closeness, but it also seems like a dance of distance of privacy. There is something emotionally intimate, yet emotionally protective. Yeah, I'm stalking you, but I"ll protect you is what that dance says to me. It also say, um yeah, you are going to be held close, so if you can get over that, you'll enjoy me (the dance.) I think the reason I never wanted to try Tango was because I was scared of it. I was scared that it would let me know how horrible I was, that I sucked at hit. I wasn't ready to confront that just yet.
Today was my first Argentine Tango class. There were about four couples and 6 women. Yep, I was one of those woman. So when they say "choose a partner" it always feels like you're the one getting picked last for the kick ball game.
When I finally had to do some of the movements with a male partner, I got nervous. Not because I like the dude or anything, but because I actually have LOOK AT HIM and PUT MY HANDS ON HIS SHOULDERS. Oh, and get this . . . CLOSE MY EYES. I could have fainted right there and then, or also grabbed my crap and ran out so fast I'd left a little dust cloud. But I didn't. The part of me that wants to run and hide is the part of me that I am every so slowly trying to chisel away at. The part of me that stayed is the part of me I want to be more like on a day to day basis: take a challenge head on. Yes, I'm scared, yes I'm nervous and yes, my hands are getting very sweaty from holding this dudes shoulders, but I'm here and I want to be here. Again, its the music, the movements, that draw me to it. Right now, all I've learned is to "stalk", and walk in small and long strides forward and backward. That's pretty much it. But there is so much more I want to learn. I want to perfect it. I want to rehearse, I want to watch myself over and over and figure out how I could make myself better . . .
One thing I didn't realize even though its a "well duh" moment is that this dance is a social dance, much like all the other dances out there. In my mind, Tango is choreographed. Everyone knows exactly what the other will be doing because its all been rehearsed. That is not the case. So sub-scary part to number two is: touching more strangers at a tango club! Ay!
I think Argentine Tango will really open me up and let me know there is nothing to fear. Why do I even have this fear? I don't know. It's more of a feeling of invasion and uncomfortablity. I don't want it, I really don't. I want to go out onto the dance floor (also the "floor" is a metaphor to "the world") with the attitude of "Yeah, I'm not the best dancer, but I'm good at the little I know and I can learn" rather than "OMIGOD PLEASE DON'T TALK TO ME, BUT I WANT TO DANCE, OH GOD DON'T LOOK AT ME, WHY ISN'T ANYONE ASKING ME TO DANCE!"

So fear #1: Sharks. Well. I don't live in shark infested waters so I think I can put off overcoming that fear for a while.

And fear #2: I'm on my way.

LA Fitness-The Pearl

Verdict: Not impressed.

I started going to the gym probably around middle school time. In retrospect, I think it was an insistence from my brother to my mother that I was getting a bit too chubs. That was the fattest time of my life. This brother never made me feel fat and never said mean things about my weight, instead he just tried to help. I started going to Gold's Gym with him in Beaverton (it's now Laser Tag). We'd do cardio, and weights. He'd help me and encourage me. I think we went about 3 times a week. I began high school and joined the volleyball team and quit the gym. I supposed that helped lean me out. I always hated working out: running, crunches, squats, etc. I hated it all, but I only did it for fall season, then it was back to my lazy self. I did play softball freshman year in the spring, but then softball turned into musicals and I gave the work out stuff up.
Then came UO. As a student, you get a membership all built in. It's a great *idea* but actually getting to it was another thing. I'm not sure how much I went, but it wasn't often. Perhaps the last year, I went a bit more religiously, but never as I do now. I wish I had, but heck, in University, there are much more important things to do like meet boys, socialize and do good in school. Who thinks about their weight.
Then came post-college. I lived with my parents. My nephew's mother (my oldest brother's ex wife) put me on her family plan for the SW Community Center they had just built on SW Vermont by Gabriel Park. At first I was a bit resistant since I'd felt they'd RUINED my beautiful park with their flashy pools, gyms and parking lot, but once I was there, I loved it. It was small and quaint and family oriented. I think by the time Kelly and Isaiah came up from Eugene to move in, I'd stopped going. We'd gotten an apartment behind Jackson Middle school so Kelly and I decided to get up at the butt crack of dawn to go jogging around the track. It actually worked quite well for the first year (I think). I had to be at work at 8am and since Kelly worked from home, she wanted to get an early start too. So up we were, at 6am. I'd get up, knock on her door to wake her up (or else she'd not get up) and off we were. Depending on the weather, we were either in t-shirts and shorts, or sweat shirts and hats. One time, it was so icy, couldn't make it down the hill to the track, but at least we tried, right? We were doing pretty well. Kelly had her jog and jazzersise, I had my work out dvds and body for life I followed. But after a while, jogging around a track got very monotonous for me and I couldn't do it. So I decided to get myself a membership to the SW Community Center again. I really enjoyed going there because of the reasons previously stated, but also because I could work out and watch tv. I'm a tv junkie. I like watching tv and if I can do two for one, I'm happy. There, they had about 5-6 tvs and each piece of equipment-bike, treadmill, elliptical, stairs-had a device that you hooked your headphones in and listened to the tv, or radio if you wanted. I loved it. I could jog and watch Law and Order, or use the elliptical and watch What not to Wear.
From living with Kelly, to living with parents and finally living in NW, I was looking for a gym that was equally as fantastic as the little SW Community Center. I went to 24 hour Fitness in the Pearl and that was a mistake. It was like the UO gym all over again. Pretty, teeny tiny little woman, and huge muscle men. Not my scene. I just wanted to go, work out and head out.
Then I found Gold's Gym at on NW Overton. It was small, had people that looked like they were interested in working out, not hooking up and had *almost* the same type of setting as SW. And since at the time I lived so close, I didn't have to use the showers, a bonus! There were three treadmills that had tvs attached so when I ran, I always tried to use those. Then it got bought out by LA Fitness. I asked about the tvs being hooked up to the equipment and they assured me that there would be new equipment at the new LA Fitness they were building in the pearl.
I stayed on at LA Fitness because of it's location and size. Since I moved once again, it was more of a walk, but it was familiar. I knew when to go when it wasn't too busy, what equipment to use, how the showers worked. The only thing I did notice was that they had two clocks in the whole place. No clock in the locker rooms. I attributed that to the fact that they were moving in mere months.
Now fast forward to today. It takes me about half an hour to walk to the gym. Ok, no big deal, whatever, walking is good for you. I walk in and its MAJESTIC. I mean, there are a few things here and there that need to be done, but it looks FANTASTIC. I can see the large pool and the top floor for weights. The welcome? Not so much. It gave me a feeling of sterility. There are no signs as to where things are (this place is three stories tall.) I had to ask for the locker room because no one offered it up. It's down a hall in the back. I'd never had found that. I walk in and all the lockers are cherry wood color, how impressive. I walk around a bit more. There is a sauna and a showers and bathrooms. Ok cool, looks good. I stuff all my things in a locker and to the cardio section. One of my observations was that the pool faces Lovejoy and I don't think the windows are tinted. Can you imagine, strangers can see you in your bathing suit! So off to cardio, I see a few locals and oo and aw about what I see. So many machines, so many tvs! I finally walk over to an area that DOESN'T have sports playing and try to figure out how to listen to tv. The television has a sign that says "tune to 80.7" NOT a good sign. I realize there are no plug ins for my head phones and I look around a realize, WTF, it's like the last one. I turn around and ask one of the locals about this and they say yes, you need a radio. Are you kidding me?! Who has a radio! So I'm am profoundly disappointed. Am I supposed to go out there and upgrade my ipod? Am I supposed to by an iPhone? WTF. Not only is this gym far away and sterile, now I can't even HEAR the tv, again.
So, after a disappointingly silent tv run (I listened to my ipod, again), I hit the showers. I grab my shampoo/conditioner and body wash, my rag and my towel and go through the door to the showers. I walk in and none of the shower have actual towel hooks, those are located *before* you enter the shower area. So I'm supposed to walk down naked to one of these showers? Niiice. I barely walk around naked with my boyfriend, let alone strangers! Luckily, it's early and no one is around. So I turn on the water of the shower closest to a towel and it's just cold. So walk down to the next shower, cold, my jiggly bits bouncing about, hoping no one walks in, and hop into that shower. Luckily it warms up and then I look and there is no where to put any of my shower stuff, no basket, no ledge, nothing. So we're supposed to shower, wash our hair with that musky smelling stuff we wash our hands with? I don't think so.
So I'm finally done with my shower and hobble over to my towel trying to wrap it around myself with one hand cuz the other is busy holding my shower stuff. I get to my spot and begin drying off and dressing. I reflect on my whole gym experience there at the pearl and I come to the conclusion that it's more frustrating than not. I make a mental note to start searching for a gym that is smaller and more quant and if I do decide to switch, make sure they have TVs that you can actually *hear* when you work out.
I'm sure there *is* a simple solution to all this, but I'm just not impressed by all their glitz. I just want to work out, watch tv while I do cardio, shower without feeling humiliated and for God's sake, would it kill you to have a clock in the locker room?!

UPDATE: After looking around for other smaller gyms that don't exist in my area, I've decided to stay here. I've compromised with myself that although it's far away, it's better than nothing, so now I have to drive (DRIVE!) to work 2-3 times a week to get to the gym in the mornings. But, on a good note, they finally put towel hooks next to each shower. Yay! And also, the sound system is working so there is actually music playing. But still NO CLOCK IN THE DRESSING ROOM!