Letting go

Ok, I know I'm getting ahead of myself. I always seem to do that regardless of what my rational brain says. I do it with job interviews and with dates.

You see, this last month I finally came to a conclusion about what direction I want to go in my life. There are two goals I have right now: write my parents' story and another one (ok, yeah I'm lame, but I'm going to keep that to myself for now.)

Both of them require me to get a full-time job and after almost a year of being unemployed, I am very ready to have some sort of schedule.

I've decided that I don't really care what kind of job I get as long as I enjoy it, enjoy the people and get benefits. This will entail me to take the classes I need to take for either my MFA (for my parents' book) or the other thing.

So that's where I'm at. I've also been looking at getting a couple part times, since I can't seem to get a full time.

However, I just interviewed for a job as a floater at a pretty prestigious animation studio. She insisted that no matter what, its getting my foot in the door and getting contacts. She said she likes to learn what other interests potential candidates have so that she can better place them. Things in my mind got turned upside down. This is not what I had in mind...but my mind, regardless, is racing with ideas and new opportunities. Even though it would mainly be reception (and the pay is MUCH BETTER than what I've seen out there for office jobs) I could potentially move and grow into another position.

I told her idea number two and how I'd like to be more involved in the art department and see what works. I told her organizing and coordination are my bread and butter but I'd really like to see and try out different departments. She seemed open to that and she seemed to like me. So basically, I would be in a pool of receptionists in case they need me to come in just for the day, or for a few weeks. I mean, it is something...its not what I had in mind, but its something.

I suppose my fear too is that I'd get comfortable and end up not pursuing idea #2 because I have *enough* money and I'm content...but I dunno. I just had this epiphany that perhaps coordination and producing is not what I want to do, perhaps being involved in the art process is? We shall see.

So basically, its good to have a plan, an idea, but at the same time, if opportunity knocks on my door in a different disguise, then perhaps I just need to let go and let opportunity wash over me...but it's scary. Uncertainty, plain and simple, is scary.