Injuries SUCK

Last year, like most after ending a long term relationship, I decided to try some new things (discover who I am) and some old things (re-discover who I was.) I decided I wanted to stay active and I missed sports. The only sports I ever played seriously was volleyball. Soccer I touched upon (since we're a soccer family) but volleyball is where I stayed. I started playing volleyball in 6th grade. I've always been pretty athletic and can pretty much pick up any sport and be semi-good at it, so volleyball too came naturally. What didn't come naturally, was my parents having to shell out a bunch of money for me to get better. You see, 6th grade was probably about a year after we got back from Mexico: broke. So while all my other little 6th grade friends attended volleyball camps and clubs...I didn't. I played Winter Ball, which is the poor man's version of camp. So by the time I got to be a freshman in high school, everyone that was on the same level as me, or even below, got that much better...way better. My best friend from middle school was freshman starter for Varsity...I was on the freshman team. Then next year I made JV. I figured that was the case because I was in a car accident that summer and couldn't perform my best. I hurt my back. Junior year, my coach was SURE I'd make Varsity because I was the best on our team. Nope, back to JV. I also figured it was because I sprained my ankle bad that summer, so again, I couldn't perform my best. You see, I do better when I'm challenged, not when I'm on top, so I figured one year of Varsity under my belt and I'd be golden by Senior year. She had other ideas. Basically the head coach told me that there was and never will be a position for me in Varsity, would I like to be the towel girl? I said fuck that. (Sorry...it upsets me, and no I didn't really say that but I was PISSED!) I had been going to her volleyball camps since 6th GRADE and she still didn't see me as Varsity material. My parents were finally able to afford a PSU camp where all the coaches thought I was already on Varsity. I was good. I wasn't great, but I was good and I knew I could get better.

After the heartbreak, I turned full force to theatre and music...and that's basically who I became...a singer and dancer. But I still wondered what would have happened had I continued playing sports.

So fast forward 9 years and I decide to join Kate's underdog Volleyball team and it all comes rushing back: the muscle memory, the competitiveness, the adenine rush...and the injuries. Obviously, I'm not as young as I used to be and in my naivete, I start playing without warming up and POW...pain in my butt, literally...it goes all the way down the back of my leg. Hmmm. I wonder, I've never felt this way before. I play one more game and it gets worse. The pain originates from the bottom of my right butt cheek, around the bone, all the way down the back of my right leg's knee. It doesn't heal. I can't turn over in bed, I can't get out of the car, I can't turn and twist my leg, driving hurts, sitting hurts. WTF. After a couple months of pain, I go see a sports medicine dude. He takes an X-Ray (which is for bones, yes.) And says there is no damage to the bone, but what might have happened was a bone to muscle tear, versus a muscle to tendon tear and that it takes MONTHS of recovery. Well, F. Here comes me getting fat.

Now, fast forward another year...and I hurt it again and again. Every time I think its healed up, Youch! I feel it again. The problem is that now, this is the muscle I have to use for all my dancing! It's quite depressing. I mean, I can recognize the first inklings of pain, but since doing bar method, I'm in sore ass pain every single day, so I didn't notice the difference. So, I decided I need to take a break, a one week break. THAT'S SO LONG! I'm super bummed.

So here I am, ice pack on my leg and butt, heating pad at night and mom playing physical therapist and massaging only the area I would have liked a boyfriend to massage: my butt. *sigh*

Here's to a speedy recover. Send good healing vibes my way so I can start up my bar come Wednesday.