Happy Birthday Oregon! I love you!

150 Years! Wow, that's quite the achievement.

I haven't lived many places, haven't really quite visited that many places either, but no matter where I've gone, where I've lived or how long I've stayed, Oregon is and will always be my home.

I remember, when I was younger, we'd drive back from the airport, either from picking up a relative or dropping someone off. I'd sit in the back seat of the car and be mesmerized by the city lights reflecting off the Willamette River and I always knew I was home. That familiar passage: I-84 from the airport, to I-5 over the Markum Bridge to SW Portland, always reminded me that this is the place I've always wanted to be and was always meant to be. This scene repeats itself whenever I come from a far away place: Boston, LA or Mexico City.

People often move here and find their place, whether it be within the hippies, the preps, the anarchist, the granolas, or the pearl, the suburban mom, the new ages, they find their home.

And I know I've found home.

I'm home.

I love you Oregon, there is no state quite like you.

Simple Bliss

I usually try to restrain myself from compulsive purchasing. While I had roommates, it was easy to make up the money cuz rent was so cheap, but now, it's all on me. If I go over budget, I'm pretty much screwed for a couple months and have to constantly put things on a credit card, which I hate doing.
Lately, I've been really careful about large purchases. I mull them around and wonder "do I *really* need them or do I just want them?". Isaiah says it's ok to be selfish once in a while if you really want it. You deserve it, he says. Yes, I do think he's right, but I have to justify to myself if I really deserve it and need it. Obviously I want it if I'm thinking about this. That's how it's been these last few months: should I get a new flat screen tv, should I get internet, should I get a new computer, should I get cable.
Two weekends in a row I went to a tv store with my dad. The first time, he bought his new tv and I was "this close" to buying mine. Instead, I got a nice antennae to see if the digital converter box would work with it. Nothing. I get no signal. So I will have to get cable if I want to watch tv. So the decision as to when was ticking, but should I get a new tv with that? I mean. I have a nice large tv, but it's large and bulky and I'd like the space. Instead, I decided to get internet. I can watch anything I want on that and I'll hold off on the tv for a while. Then came news of the digital change over not until June! Who hooo! I won't have to get cable (if I want) until this fall. So I'm no longer worried.
So as the days rolled along, I got Anthropologies weekly emails. We're having a sale, it says, check it out. And there they were. The cutest red, low healed shoes mary janes I'd ever seen. They were pretty much half off. I thought about, oh, five minutes and ordered them. I quickly regretted it but figured I can return them.
Fast forward to Thursday. I get them mailed to work, I try them on and it's like these shoes were meant for my feet. They are perfect! They are low heeled, have a heal strap, are red, the toe box is wide enough and they are cushiony. I'm in love! I've worn them three days in a row already! I can't get enough of them.

Good thing red is my clothing color of preference!

Assassination Vacation-Sarah Vowell

It's been a while since I've done a post about reading. Well, that's because it's been a while since I actually *did* some reading. I'd been taking a break from the reading probably around the holidays. Once Thanksgiving is over, most things come to a halt except caroling and gift buying. This year was extra stressful due to the two weeks of snow we encountered. You'd think I'd just curl up in a ball and read, but instead I just watched tv and or got stranded at Isaiah's house watching tv (which is nice cuz he gets more channels than me.) Also, as most things go, I wanted to be "in the mood" for a book. I'm still reading Slaves in the Family, as well as still interested in The Historian, but none of them were peaking my interest . . . until I came across a CNN interview on Sarah Vowell's most recent book The Wordy Shipmates. This book is about her quirky, humorous and Jeapordy-like knowledge about the puritans pilgramage to the US. When I heard this, I thought Omigosh, this will be great for my brother, him being a history buff and all. Then I thought, wait, I'm a history buff too, this will be perfect for me too! Thus, on my one of two outings, I made it to Powell's. However, instead of The Wordy Shipmates, I got Assassination Vacation because it was on sale. I thought, well Renato's birthday isn't for another month, I'll just buy it now, plus maybe I can read it before I give it to him ;) And that, I am doing.
I love Assassination Vacation so far. I did not read it as religiously as I should have when I bought it, but starting last week, I just can't put the book down when I pick i up at night. also, I don't want to drag it to the gym or work, because I still want it to look new for when I give it to my brother, oh, next week . . . shh don't tell.
I must say, I'm really enjoying this book and Ms. Vowell is a great story teller of history. She takes her work and her commentary very seriously, but it's delivered in a way that is welcoming, like she's telling someone a story. She has an unhealthy obsession with Abraham Lincoln and cherishes road triping to historical sites. Ah, kindred spirits? Perhaps, but I suck at the kind of writing that she could do.
So if you're interested in history with a nice sharp tongue pick up Assassination Vacation where Sarah Vowell takes you through the four major presidential assassinations starting with Lincoln. And I must say, the timing is perfect because there was one such president inaugurated just this past week who is equally (probably not so unhealthily) obsessed with Lincoln as well.

p.s. I got internet at home and feels good. But I gotta control myself . . .

LA Fitness-The Pearl

Verdict: Not impressed.

I started going to the gym probably around middle school time. In retrospect, I think it was an insistence from my brother to my mother that I was getting a bit too chubs. That was the fattest time of my life. This brother never made me feel fat and never said mean things about my weight, instead he just tried to help. I started going to Gold's Gym with him in Beaverton (it's now Laser Tag). We'd do cardio, and weights. He'd help me and encourage me. I think we went about 3 times a week. I began high school and joined the volleyball team and quit the gym. I supposed that helped lean me out. I always hated working out: running, crunches, squats, etc. I hated it all, but I only did it for fall season, then it was back to my lazy self. I did play softball freshman year in the spring, but then softball turned into musicals and I gave the work out stuff up.
Then came UO. As a student, you get a membership all built in. It's a great *idea* but actually getting to it was another thing. I'm not sure how much I went, but it wasn't often. Perhaps the last year, I went a bit more religiously, but never as I do now. I wish I had, but heck, in University, there are much more important things to do like meet boys, socialize and do good in school. Who thinks about their weight.
Then came post-college. I lived with my parents. My nephew's mother (my oldest brother's ex wife) put me on her family plan for the SW Community Center they had just built on SW Vermont by Gabriel Park. At first I was a bit resistant since I'd felt they'd RUINED my beautiful park with their flashy pools, gyms and parking lot, but once I was there, I loved it. It was small and quaint and family oriented. I think by the time Kelly and Isaiah came up from Eugene to move in, I'd stopped going. We'd gotten an apartment behind Jackson Middle school so Kelly and I decided to get up at the butt crack of dawn to go jogging around the track. It actually worked quite well for the first year (I think). I had to be at work at 8am and since Kelly worked from home, she wanted to get an early start too. So up we were, at 6am. I'd get up, knock on her door to wake her up (or else she'd not get up) and off we were. Depending on the weather, we were either in t-shirts and shorts, or sweat shirts and hats. One time, it was so icy, couldn't make it down the hill to the track, but at least we tried, right? We were doing pretty well. Kelly had her jog and jazzersise, I had my work out dvds and body for life I followed. But after a while, jogging around a track got very monotonous for me and I couldn't do it. So I decided to get myself a membership to the SW Community Center again. I really enjoyed going there because of the reasons previously stated, but also because I could work out and watch tv. I'm a tv junkie. I like watching tv and if I can do two for one, I'm happy. There, they had about 5-6 tvs and each piece of equipment-bike, treadmill, elliptical, stairs-had a device that you hooked your headphones in and listened to the tv, or radio if you wanted. I loved it. I could jog and watch Law and Order, or use the elliptical and watch What not to Wear.
From living with Kelly, to living with parents and finally living in NW, I was looking for a gym that was equally as fantastic as the little SW Community Center. I went to 24 hour Fitness in the Pearl and that was a mistake. It was like the UO gym all over again. Pretty, teeny tiny little woman, and huge muscle men. Not my scene. I just wanted to go, work out and head out.
Then I found Gold's Gym at on NW Overton. It was small, had people that looked like they were interested in working out, not hooking up and had *almost* the same type of setting as SW. And since at the time I lived so close, I didn't have to use the showers, a bonus! There were three treadmills that had tvs attached so when I ran, I always tried to use those. Then it got bought out by LA Fitness. I asked about the tvs being hooked up to the equipment and they assured me that there would be new equipment at the new LA Fitness they were building in the pearl.
I stayed on at LA Fitness because of it's location and size. Since I moved once again, it was more of a walk, but it was familiar. I knew when to go when it wasn't too busy, what equipment to use, how the showers worked. The only thing I did notice was that they had two clocks in the whole place. No clock in the locker rooms. I attributed that to the fact that they were moving in mere months.
Now fast forward to today. It takes me about half an hour to walk to the gym. Ok, no big deal, whatever, walking is good for you. I walk in and its MAJESTIC. I mean, there are a few things here and there that need to be done, but it looks FANTASTIC. I can see the large pool and the top floor for weights. The welcome? Not so much. It gave me a feeling of sterility. There are no signs as to where things are (this place is three stories tall.) I had to ask for the locker room because no one offered it up. It's down a hall in the back. I'd never had found that. I walk in and all the lockers are cherry wood color, how impressive. I walk around a bit more. There is a sauna and a showers and bathrooms. Ok cool, looks good. I stuff all my things in a locker and to the cardio section. One of my observations was that the pool faces Lovejoy and I don't think the windows are tinted. Can you imagine, strangers can see you in your bathing suit! So off to cardio, I see a few locals and oo and aw about what I see. So many machines, so many tvs! I finally walk over to an area that DOESN'T have sports playing and try to figure out how to listen to tv. The television has a sign that says "tune to 80.7" NOT a good sign. I realize there are no plug ins for my head phones and I look around a realize, WTF, it's like the last one. I turn around and ask one of the locals about this and they say yes, you need a radio. Are you kidding me?! Who has a radio! So I'm am profoundly disappointed. Am I supposed to go out there and upgrade my ipod? Am I supposed to by an iPhone? WTF. Not only is this gym far away and sterile, now I can't even HEAR the tv, again.
So, after a disappointingly silent tv run (I listened to my ipod, again), I hit the showers. I grab my shampoo/conditioner and body wash, my rag and my towel and go through the door to the showers. I walk in and none of the shower have actual towel hooks, those are located *before* you enter the shower area. So I'm supposed to walk down naked to one of these showers? Niiice. I barely walk around naked with my boyfriend, let alone strangers! Luckily, it's early and no one is around. So I turn on the water of the shower closest to a towel and it's just cold. So walk down to the next shower, cold, my jiggly bits bouncing about, hoping no one walks in, and hop into that shower. Luckily it warms up and then I look and there is no where to put any of my shower stuff, no basket, no ledge, nothing. So we're supposed to shower, wash our hair with that musky smelling stuff we wash our hands with? I don't think so.
So I'm finally done with my shower and hobble over to my towel trying to wrap it around myself with one hand cuz the other is busy holding my shower stuff. I get to my spot and begin drying off and dressing. I reflect on my whole gym experience there at the pearl and I come to the conclusion that it's more frustrating than not. I make a mental note to start searching for a gym that is smaller and more quant and if I do decide to switch, make sure they have TVs that you can actually *hear* when you work out.
I'm sure there *is* a simple solution to all this, but I'm just not impressed by all their glitz. I just want to work out, watch tv while I do cardio, shower without feeling humiliated and for God's sake, would it kill you to have a clock in the locker room?!

UPDATE: After looking around for other smaller gyms that don't exist in my area, I've decided to stay here. I've compromised with myself that although it's far away, it's better than nothing, so now I have to drive (DRIVE!) to work 2-3 times a week to get to the gym in the mornings. But, on a good note, they finally put towel hooks next to each shower. Yay! And also, the sound system is working so there is actually music playing. But still NO CLOCK IN THE DRESSING ROOM!

How's it going?

It's going well thank you!

I've successfully been able to maintain my positivity through out a few rough bumps in the past few weeks. Snow on Christmas eve? We'll ride the bus. The bus did not show? Call my brother for a ride. Had to come into work the Friday after New Years after having been given it off? Well, at least I got to sleep in, come in late and leave early. My television *still* gets no reception even with the digital converter box? Well, I guess it's time to buy a new flat screen with the money I got from caroling. Didn't work out for the last three weeks? Well, I lost half a pound, not gained five. The slide show didn't work out as planned. No problem, only I knew what was wrong (as MANY people kept reminding me.)

So there ya go. I have no New Year's Resolutions, just a continuation of goals I've been wanting to achieve. So far so good.

I do have plans: To continue to work out, continue to cook, mostly healthy food and continue to be positive.

Yeah, I think I can do it!

It's Begining to look a lot like Christmas . . .

Well, a Hollywood "white" Christmas that is (no pun intended.)

After my last successful caroling gig on Saturday night, Isaiah and I headed over to my parent's company party where Isaiah proceeded to drink shots of tequila as if he were back in Mexico at the quinceniera.

Sunday morning, even though hung over his head perked up at the word "snow". "Really?" he asked, slowly opening his blood shot eyes. Really. There were at least 2 inches of snow by 10:30.

Since I'm a fantastical planner, I had packed a bag of boots, pants, sweaters, hat and scarf since I knew I'd be riding the bus Sunday back home when Isaiah left for work. I did forget gloves and socks though!

But since it had snowed so wonderfully, I didn't feel like isolating myself in the confines of NW Portland. I wanted to share the joy of snow with friends, thus I invited myself over the Liz, Bruno and Laura's house, and they all graciously accepted. Thank god for friends! So off I trekked.




(Above is their cute house.)

After having made Laura drop her cell phone in the snow, she gave me directions to her house from Isaiah's. Surprisingly enough, they were only about 4 blocks away and I made it. While there, I heated up my toes at their fake fire place and helped Liz bake cookies while Bruno cooked a fritta. I took pictures around their house and we finally had lunch.



Afterward, I knew time was ticking for me to get back home before the temperature plummeted even more and go dark. I wanted to make this trek during the say since I'd never ridden the bus this far out and to my surprise, it was quite easy and perfect. Both Isaiah and the house are right off of the trimet bus path so going back and for will be pretty easy. It also passes through downtown, Pioneer Square, China town and up to 21st all the way to Montgomery Park. I love you bus 17!

I finally made it home and my little car was still trapped in between two cars who seem to want me to pull an Austin Powers. I guess I won't be moving my car until the snow melts (which won't be for another week, I think.) But have I mentioned I love the bus 17? Venturing out to SW Portland though, won't be too easy. I'm supposed to be at Washington Square at 9am on Saturday and the plan was to spend the night at my brother's place in Bull Mountain. I don't think I can make it out there without a car, so I might have to head out to my other brother's place, by Hayhurst over at SW 45th. But we'll see . . .

But for now, enjoy some pics!
(My poor car!)

Who am I, what's happiness?

I was told early this week that I was too negative. As much as I wanted to jump on the defensive bandwagon (and did just a bit), I sat and thought about that. I thought about all the times I bad mouthed work, of the times I bad mouth myself (my hair, my body, my skin) and I realized: I am making myself unhappy. What used to be just common venting, turned into full fledged complaining and I'm not happy with that. Recently, I cut out a person in my life becuase of the unwanted criticism and negativity I felt from her. She made me feel bad about myself and my choices. Sure, I should just buck up and tell her to shut up, but I'm not that person. I can take criticism, and I can take opinions, when they are handed to me in a specific sort of way. Most people know how to give it to me and I hope that I know how to give it appropriately back. So lately I've been thinking a lot about this, especially now living alone again. I don't have tv I watch religiously any more (just those few shows and I watch them online when I can), I don't have internet at home and I don't have anyone to distract me anymore, I'm just alone with my own thoughts. "You're too negative" is what I kept thinking to myself. And it's true. I don't want to be, I want to be a positive person. Of course, I don't want to over do it, but I do want to be the person people can turn to, who enjoy being around because she's not a downer or a complainer. Of course, I will vent, but I need to tread the fine line between venting and complaining.
This I started Tuesday. Life is to short to constantly be unhappy. Nothing is wrong: I have my health, as does my family, I have a job whereas many don't, I have a partner who loves me, I live in the area of my dreams, why am I not happy? Because I create my own happiness. So that's what I'm striving to do: I want to create my happiness. Even though I've not seen the world, made a million bucks or discovered the cure for cancer, I can still be happy with who I am, who I'm with, what and how I choose to lead my life. Which begs another question:

So, who am I?

That will be for another time . . .