How to . . . DONE!

On the last leg of my flight from Mexico yesterday, I finished Jenna Jameson's memoir. It's bitter sweet because it ended with a happy ending, but in reality, her "loving" marriage ended in a childless divorce and cancer scare.

I know in my previous post I had alluded to the fact that I felt sorry for her. I want to retract that. I'm am a naturally empathetic person, but when someone has a life, not like my own, I think my default thought is "oh, that poor thing". It made me realize that just because someone does not have my life, or similar to it, doesn't mean they are a failure, life will not turn out ok for them, or that they are bad people. I really like Jenna Jameson because she is her own person, makes her own decisions and is honest when she knows and can identify the mistakes she's making. Sure, she has her faults, but she was/is brave enough to live her own life the way she wants it. I wish I had that fearlessness, but I have come to a point in my life where I am living the life I want. Much of this life that I want, does not depend on me alone. I want to get married, have a family, but obviously there is a second component to that. That component wants to get through school, so I gotta wait, but that's ok because I know what I want.

In the end, I recommend this book. As mentioned, Jenna is not perfect and yet, still had her fun and knew when she needed to stop to take care of herself. This book is not just about a woman in the porn industry, it's about a woman who beat the odds, rose above those odds and built an empire in a male dominated world . . . with her goofy sense of humor still intact.

How to Make Love Like a Porn Star

Interesting choice, yes? But I can't seem to put the book down. First off, I absolutley love memoirs, and secondly, I'm facinated as to why anyone would want to get into the porn industry. Sure, porn can be useful for somethings as are sex toys, but why someone would subject themselves to be *on film* having sex with strangers, was beyond me. At the same time, I found it daring of these porn people, to go beyond the cultural norm of monogamy.
Anyway, I got interested in Jenna Massoli aka Jenna Jameson, when I started reading religiously my gossip blogs posted the the left over there



One woman kept popping up on them like the flavor of the week. "Jenna Jameson miscarries, Jenna Jameson gets divorced, Jenna Jameson is too skinny, Jenna Jameson . . . " You get the idea. So I asked myself, who the hell is this Jenna Jameson and why is she so popular. I mentioned it to my boyfriend and of course he knew: She's the most famous porn star to date. Oh. Then I asked myself, how can *that* be a porn star? No offense to Ms. Jameson, but I didn't really think she was all that. I liked her tattoos, but other than that, she was orange, skinny and had crazy callogen plumped up lips. That's what porn stars are like? I did not think she was attractive at all (boobs are just so overrated to me, maybe its cuz I have them and men don't), but that made me curious, I had no idea what the porn industry was like. I'd seen some porn on cable at a friend's house when I was younger, but I always picture porn stars as movie stars with bigger boobs, and the men with handle-bar mustaches and oily skin. But for some reason, I liked this Jenna Jameson girl people talked about, she seemed cool, confident, couldn't give a shit and again, she had tattoos which I thought porn stars weren't allowed to have.
Then I found she had a memoir about her life, and as a non-fiction, memoir lover, I had to get it. I think I waited close to a year until my library finally let me have it. I was in line on hold as 2/30 people. Yep, I had to wait.

So far my verdict: I can't seem to put the damn book down at night. Which is good for the book, bad for Andrea cuz she reads at night and 9pm turns into 12am. Jenna's life explains a lot of that nature vs. nurture thing, but what really stands out is her sheer determination to be the best and what she does, it just happened to be something a bit unconventional like stripping and porn. I also like how she can look back and be reflective about the decisions she made in her past and what effect they have on her then and now. I think I also find it/her life fascinating because it was the complete opposite of mine. I had a pretty tame and happy childhood. I was sheltered, loved, taken care of, and given things I didn't need, but I wanted. I was a pretty happy, chubby kid. She was happy and a good girl, up to a certain age.

I look forward to reading this book and delving deeper into here life. I can really see how she's growing from a shy girl, to a confident women, but not without those bumps along the way.

Bad News

Yep. No running for a while. Well damn, that puts quite a damper on my "running goals" for this coming year. I guess you could say it's "good timing" (I'm trying to be optimistic here) since I'll be leaving for Mexico in two weeks, so that's an excuse not to run (even though I was planning on bringing my running shoes . . . never mind.)

I was actually going to write about how good I felt for having run a bit over 4 miles last Sunday. The route I took was not ideal (there were two HUGE hills that I didn't know about ahead of time) and there for that probably helped propel my knee pain, but other than that, I did it in 45 minutes, which is more than my usual 10 mile minute, but it was my first time in a long time. Afterward, I planned on driving to my parents' house to do a bit of laundry and cable watching and on my drive there, my knees just throbbed. Omigosh! They hurt so bad! It's about a 15 minute drive and I was dying. Once I got there, I filled up their bathtub and turned on the jets and it made me feel so much better but it definitely worried me about the potential damage I might be doing to my knees. I love running, I really do, but if means future surgeries just so I can have a few years of painful fun, then I probably shouldn't do it. But, most likely against my doctor's orders, I'm still going to run that damned 10k cuz I want to run over the bridges . . . Butthenimdone! Anyway, her recommendation is to start strengthening my inner thigh muscles and my quads and stretch my hip flexors, and my IT band (the muscle on the side of the leg.) But, not only did she have me lay off the running, she's been noticing more things the matter with my skeletal system so basically working out has been reduced to strength training and low impact cardio. For some reason, the right side of my body is out of whack, from my foot all the way up the back to the right side of my neck, the muscles are all tight. After Mexico, I'm going to make an appointment with a podiatrist to see if there is anything I can do about my feet, because haven't I mentioned? One of my toes goes numb if I wear high heals for a long time or work out for more than 20 minutes . . . fun fun stuff.

So basically, I'm trying really hard not to feel sorry for myself and willing myself to do yoga and low impact cardio to keep me moving . . . but it's hard when running has been the one thing I see love to do because it makes me feel like I've accomplished something.

Running goals

So, I've been thinking about this a lot lately and today I received my Race Center magazine



and pretty much solidified what I'm going to do.

In April, I shall run a 10k (again) for the Bridge to Bridge and Brews. When I ran the 10k for Cinco de Mayo, I told myself that there was really no need to ever do that again. I got bored and I was in pain. This time, I have better shoes and a better sports bra. I absolutely love running outside (which I now do rarely) and I love crossing bridges, so I thought, why not run over the bridges? Oh right, I also like beer and who can resist Widmer.

In May, I shall continue the traditions and do the Cinco de Mayo 5k. This time, I'm inviting my quite athletic 12 year old nephew, and my friend Liz.

In October, I might just try another 10k for the Run Like Hell. That was fun last time. Perhaps this year I really will dress up . . .

So those are my running goals. I like to have them. It helps me stay on track, gives me a better and less superficial reason to work out than "I want to loose weight". So for now, I will continue my training with my trainer and then after my week off while in Mexico (I'll still bring my running clothes), I'll start training hard core for the Bridge to Bridge 10k.

I'm hoping if all goes well, and there is minimal pain . . . I'll run the HALF marathon next year or the year after. The Run of Roses. Can she do it?